Category: Couples Therapy

Anxiety Disorders – Understanding 6 Types Of Anxiety Disorders

Have you experienced a traumatic event in your life such as a death of a loved one? Are you easily stressed by day to day activities in your life where you find yourself worrying constantly? Do you often experience panic attacks or avoid social situations because you experience discomfort?


Anxiety is part of the body’s natural reaction to stress. Having a feeling of occasional nerves is common, but if anxiety interferes with your daily life you may have developed an anxiety disorder. Anxiety is the most common mental disorders.  An estimated 15% of people will develop an anxiety disorder during their lifetime. While 60% of those people are women, anxiety is often caused by a traumatic event or experience faced. Anxiety can also be genetic.


There are 6 types of anxiety disorders:


  1. Generalized anxiety disorder (GAD): Experience worries that interfere with daily activities
  2. Panic disorder: Recurrent panic attacks
  3. Phobias: Excessive and persistent fears of a specific object or activity that isn’t usually harmful
  4. Social anxiety disorder: experience extreme discomfort with social interactions, often leading to avoid social situations
  5. Separation anxiety disorder: an excessive fear of being separated from another person
  6. Post -traumatic stress disorder: involves persistent anxiety or fear following a traumatic or life-threatening event.


There are a number of treatments for anxiety disorders, most people with anxiety disorders can experience great improvement with the help of professional care. Anxiety disorder treatments work differently for every person.

5 Cons Of Arranged Marriages

5 Cons About Arranged Marriages You Didn’t Know

When we think of traditional marriages we often think of trust, love, and commitment. However, in many cultures, marriages are based on social and economic statuses. Arranged marriages are far from what we call traditional marriages. In fact, arranged marriages are the complete opposite of traditional marriages. Unlike traditional marriages, arranged marriages prioritize family before love.

There are many reasons why arranged marriages are still practiced today, low divorce rates being one of many reasons. Just like there are advantages, there are also disadvantage to arranging marriages.

1. The Absence of Choice
The majority of arranged marriages are forced, which means that you can not object. This could sentence a person to a life of misery.

2. A Loss of Experience – When you are involved in an arranged marriage, it is typically arranged when you are very young. You are not allowed to date or attempt to meet anyone else because you husband or wife has already been chosen for you.

3. Chances of Divorce – divorce rates are said to be very low in arranged marriages, but could this be because divorce is frowned upon in arranged marriages?

4. Love takes second priority – love within your marriages can become second priority. Family members convince the two individuals that love will eventually bloom within the arranged marriage.

5. Interference from extended family – there will be family interference from both families in arranged marriages, satisfying parents will be a more of a priority.






What is Sexual Orientation?

The term sexual orientation is used to describe your emotional, romantic, and sexual attraction. Sexual orientation does not correlate to the race in which you are attracted to. Sexual orientation is not limited to only being a attracted to the opposite sex but also to the same sex.

Here are a few sexual orientation

Heterosexuality – attracted to the opposite sex

Homosexual – attracted to the same sex

Bisexual – attracted to member of either sex

For years the only sexual orientation that’s been known is heterosexual. We now live in a modern world where sexual orientation isn’t limited by one preference. People now have their own personal preference when it comes to sexual orientation. Whether there preference is accepted in our society is another story.


Montville Counseling Center offers therapy sessions to provide guidance and tools to live a happy and healthy life. We offer a FREE 30 min look me over session to start! Call us now (973) 331-0043


What’s the difference between Sex and Gender

The terms sex and gender has been used interchangeably for years, but now in our modern society sex and gender are defined differently. Do you know the difference between sex and gender?

The sex of a person relates to biological differences between and male and a female. For example, males and females have different genitalia, both internal and external. As well as the level and type of hormones in a male and female body is different based on their sex. As for gender is often a socially constructed characteristics of a male or female in which society categorize as the norms. The roles between the two groups are adhered to things such as what is expectable or consider the norm.

For example: We often associate a boy with the color blue and girls with the color pink. We are told that girls like to play with dolls and boys like to play with cars. These are examples of society associating our sex with our gender roles. But what if our gender roles do not match our sex? Is Jane consider different because she prefers to wear the color blue and play with cars? Is Tom different because he loves the color pink and prefers to play with dolls? Transgenders are constantly faced with these kinds of challenges.

If we can take the time to educate ourselves with the meaning of these terms, we can grasp a better understanding of transgender people and the struggles they face daily when trying to be accepted in a world where they are told there cannot be.

Montville Counseling Center offers therapy sessions to provide guidance and tools to live a happy and healthy life. We offer a FREE 30 min look me over session to start! Call us now (973) 331-0043



We are taught all of our lives to be ourselves, yet how can we be ourselves if we are not accepted for who we are? Contrary to belief, society only accepts us if are what is considered to be the ‘norm’ or normal. Transgender discrimination is one of many discriminations that occurs in our society.


Transgenders are referred as someone who sense their gender differs from what would be expected based on the sex characteristics with which they are born. There are a number of theories exist to explain why some people identify as trans such as early experience, unusual hormonal experience, being born with ambiguous genitals, identifying as intersex, and gender roles so many children are forced into may play a role.


Given the pressure fitting into a group society has formed, transgender’s often try to conform by transitioning physically and socially in ways they feel are congruent with their identity. Often resulting in physical procedures, changes in the way one dresses or even behaves. There are so many transitions transgender experiences it can certainly take a toll on their mental state.


It’s important for those in the transgender community to have a support system that allows them to discuss and work through their inner battles after gender or sex discovery, physically transition, and given the rampant discrimination and misunderstanding of transgender. We accept you as you are here at Montville Counseling Center.

Montville Counseling Center offers therapy sessions to provide guidance and tools to live a happy and healthy life. We offer a FREE 30 min look me over session to start! Call us now (973) 331-0043

8 Questions Your Therpist Will Ask

 Prepare For Your First Therapy Session With 7 Question

Finally! You find the courage to schedule your first therapy session but you don’t have the slightest idea on what to expect during your session. Besides, the only therapy session you ever encountered were scenes from your favorite movies. You know, the scene where you your body is stretched across a long couch and your eyes are shut closed; or is that just a therapy session cliche.

Will the therapist asks me questions like how does this make me a million times? What types of questions will I be asked by my therapist during my session?The first rule of thumb is to go in with an open mind.

Your first therapy session is similar to an interview, like most interviews we prepare ourselves. We’re usually asked the same question ‘tell me about yourself’? We put together 8 questions that your therapist will ask in some sort form.

1 |  Goal-oriented opening questions

  • What are your best hopes for our talk today? (solution oriented)
  • What would you like to be different when you walk out of here today? (change oriented)
  • What is your main concern today? (problem oriented)

2 | Relationship-oriented opening questions

  • Whose idea was it for you to be here today? (for an initial session)
  • Who is with you in this room today (figuratively speaking)?

3 |  Evaluation-oriented opening questions

  • So, what’s been going well? (solution-oriented)
  • What is different today from the last time you were here? (change-oriented)
  • What, from last session, impacted you this week? (change-oriented)

Montville Counseling Center offers therapy sessions to provide guidance and tools to live a happy and healthy life. We offer a FREE 30 min look me over session to start! Call us now (973) 331-0043

How To Relieve Stress Using Your 5 Sense

Do you often find yourselves worried about occurring events that are happening in your life? Does your worries turn into stress? As we go through life we sometimes encounter stress, a state of mental or emotional strain or tension resulting from adverse or very demanding circumstances.

Stressed can be caused at any given time in our personal life, friendships, relationships, financially, or even at our workplace. Although it is very common to stress, it can become harmful to your well being emotionally, mentally, and physically. The key to living a stress free life is to find healthy ways to relieve your stress.

Let’s go back to our earlier developing stages as a child; when we were developing and recognizing our 5 senses; our sense of taste, sight, touch, smell, and hearing. We learned that we use our 5 senses everyday. Here’s a list of a few daily activities using our 5 senses that relieve and reduce stress.

Seen of Sight

  • Read a good book
  • Watch your favorite film
  • Engage your visual sense in painting or photography
  • Allow yourself to daydream for 10 mins
  • Use visualization techniques
  • Evoke good memories from look at memory or story board

Sense of Smell

  • Burn some armothoggy oils
  • Enjoy the aroma of scented candles
  • Do some baking – the mixture of aroma and soothing movements
  • Enjoy outdoor smell from walks in the country or near the sea
  • Freshly brewed tea or coffee

Sense of Hearing

  • Sit outside and enjoy the sounds
  • Listen to your favorite piece of music
  • Listen to a motivational recording
  • Play a relaxing CD

Sense of Taste

  • Chew a piece of gum
  • Eat a piece of dark chocolate

Sense of Touch

  • Squeeze a stress ball
  • Pet an animal – particularly cats, dogs and rabbits
  • Wear soft warm clothing
  • Play a musical instrument
  • Get a Message
  • Exercise – especially yoga and pilates

Montville Counseling Center offers therapy sessions to provide guidance and tools to live a happy and healthy life. We offer a FREE 30 min look me over session to start! Call us now (973) 331-0043

Struggling with Fertility Issues

Struggling with Fertitlity issuesThe heartbreaking experience of trying to become pregnant without success can take a person through a range of painful experiences and emotions, compacting a lifetime of stressful feelings into an all too limited timeframe that conversely seems to stretch on forever.

Some women decide to delay childbirth until later in life only to be caught by surprise by infertility after spending so many careful years avoiding pregnancy. Other women have long planned to “start a family” early in life only to be repeatedly disappointed each month. A feeling of helplessness begins to cloud over this usually joyful time as it slowly transforms itself to a life crisis — triggering for many individuals and couples issues of self-blame, depression, guilt, shame, intense anger, grief, and obsessive thoughts about infertility. The stress of the financial cost is one more emotional weight that gets added to the crumbling pile.

Living in the present becomes squeezed between scrutinizing the past and an increasingly uncertain future. Holding these devastating emotions together is both a daily burden and a small triumph, until a well-intentioned friend or tactless near-stranger cracks the thin and shaky facade with an off-hand thoughtless comment or question. Shouldering this stress with your partner can also begin to chip away at the relationship. A feeling of inadequacy builds, and self-esteem can deteriorate with each passing day.

Ongoing Individual and couples counseling during infertility treatments can be enormously helpful in coping with this continual emotional traumatic strain. Don’t go it alone. Give us a call today and get professional help and strategies in dealing with your infertility struggles.

Resolving Money Conflicts in Your Relationship

cupid's piercing arrowMoney represents love, power, self-esteem, freedom, control, and personal desires. When couples take the step to unite together in partnership, they are merging together their finances and money attitudes, as well as their hearts. While it may take some time for the honeymoon glow to wear off, money frictions have a way of rubbing it to a dull shine early on in the union.

Many people who struggle with money issues stemming from emotional triggers bring that baggage into the partnership, lighting the tinder underneath other existing conflicts within the relationship. Differences in spending habits and lack of clear communication continue to ignite disagreements, eventually turning harmony to hostility.

Although you may have merged your lives together, you are still separate people with individual needs and desires. Financial transparency maintains trust, and encourages open communication. Being respectful of your partner’s spending style while honoring your own comfortable limits is essential for maintaining a healthy connection.

Sit down with each other and establish a plan to manage expectations and emotions. The best time for honest and productive communication is during a calm moment at the kitchen table rather than when the credit card bill comes in and emotions flare. Setting aside undisturbed time for money management discussions also allows for couples to prioritize and re-prioritize family goals.

A Daily Practice of Love

cupid's piercing arrowFor some couples on Valentine’s Day, Cupid’s piercing arrow to the heart can miss the mark. The pressure of making the day perfect, and the stress of fulfilling unrealistic expectations, can lead to disappointment, frustration, and feeling let down. When anger and other unsettling emotions bubble to the surface instead of champagne, hurt feelings can be the result. Not exactly the romantic feelings most are yearning for on that special day.

Finding ways to show affection and appreciation, and spending time together all year long does more to sustain a relationship than one day of obligated or forced bliss. Honoring your own relationship’s unique needs and remembering to make an effort each day builds an authentic connection that keeps the romance lasting throughout the seasons.

By all means, celebrate the day. Just be sure to pay attention to your relationship every day. Give Cupid the daily target practice that both of your hearts fully deserve!

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